Monday, September 3, 2007

Pirate Tattoo

Because my audience was TOTALLY unappreciative of my willing self-mockery:

Scene: We pull up to a stoplight. It’s hot. It’s sunny, my window is down. I have my shades on and my Pirate tattoo blazin’ on my bicep. To my right is a young fellow on a motorcycle with his “Lower Back” tattoo peeking out.

I catch his eye, flex my arm and say just before we pull away, “I have a tattoo, too.”

Labor Day Dinner Conversation

[Paraphrased because I remember less than your Great Aunt Betty]

The Man: “I think these ‘steaks’ are ground beef.”

Me: “Like hamburgers?”

TM: “Yeah!”

Me to Kristina: “Was your steak like hamburger?”

Kristina: “Yeah, kind of. It was really crumbly, but had, like, fat wrapped around it.”

Me: “That was supposed to be bacon.”

What can I say, they love good deals in that house!

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

The Inaugural Meme

Casey from Moosh in Indy tagged me! And how lucky for it to be the VERY FIRST meme published to the new section of The Garden.

1. Were you named after anyone?
My great-great grandma for my first name – my great aunt and aunt (different sides of the family) for my middle name.

2. When was the last time you cried?
When I was watching the news last night – this applies to basically every day.

3. Do you like your handwriting?
Not really. I’m usually very sloppy. Then, when I TRY to write nicely, I hate it.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?
Turkey, turkey and turkey. And ham once in a while.

5. Do you have kids?

6. If you were another person would you be friends with you?
Probably not – I’m not a friendly, outgoing person anymore – two unfriendly shy people would never meet.

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

8. Do you still have your tonsils?

9. Would you bungee jump?
I won’t even go on roller coasters anymore. I figure I’m worth too much to die doing something stupid. Also? I get enough danger in my life commuting ten hours a week. Word?

10. What is your favorite cereal?
Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Nope…I’z lazy.

12. Do you think you are strong? When I have to be. I can lift heavy things, when I HAVE to. I can be a strong person, when I HAVE to.

13. What is your favorite ice cream? Edy’s Slow Churned – in Double Fudge Brownie, Cookie Dough, Cookies n Cream, or Peanut Butter Cup – I’m not too picky.

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Obvious things.

15. Red or Pink? Pink

16. What is the least favorite thing about yourself? I’m way too emotional.

17. Who do you miss the most?
My baby girl.

18. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
Greenish khaki pants and brown suede shoes with orange stripes…I swear I just answered this question somewhere else.

20. What was the last thing that you ate?
About two cups of sunflower seeds

21. What are you listening to right now?
The printers squeaking and people indistinctly chatting

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Tickle Me Pink

23. Favorite smells? The Man after a shower, brownies in the oven

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom to check on Ninja Boy “He’s FIIIIINE.”

25. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I may have fallen in e-love with her.

26. Favorite sports to watch? Football and baseball (baseball – only live or the playoffs, otherwise I have better things to do.)

27: Hair color? Dark auburn – more brown in the winter, more red in the summer (when I see that big fiery thing in the sky – but that’s not very often).

28. Eye Color? Usually brown, but they change to green and grey sometimes.

29. Do you wear contacts? Nope, just checked in the frozen food aisle at Wal-Mart, I’m still 20/20!!

30. Favorite Food? Italian

31. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Love FUNNY and HAPPY movies! Couldn’t agree more on the reason to not watch bad ones, Casey!

32. Last movie you watched? Flushed Away

33. What color shirt are you wearing? Light blue polo…with a big chocolate stain on the boob (I just COULDN’T wait to eat that, could I?)

34. Summer or winter?
I like Fall the best, but definitely pick Summer over winter!!

35. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs – I’m anti-germ.

36. Favorite Dessert? Ice Cream. Hands down. (But brownies WITH ice cream is good, too!)

39. What book are you reading right now?
The Artist’s Way (see sidebar on The Garden)

40. What is on your mouse pad? My mouse.

41. What did you watch on TV last night?
Hell’s Kitchen

42. Favorite Sound?
Music. Hehe, generic enough?

43. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles. I don’t care much for the Rolling Stones.

44. What is the furthest you have been from home? California.

45. Do you have a special talent?
I can tell when people are lying!

46. Where were you born? Wisconsin.

47. What superpower would you like?
Whatever one Peter Petrelli has. Which is, anything, really. Ha.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

ADD Thursday

A few things to take care of today:

Worker Mommy has harassed – I mean TAGGED – me to do this meme:

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1) BlondeMomBlog
2) Bun in the Oven3
3) You da Mom
4) Worker Mommy
5) Butrfly Garden

Next, select five people to tag:
Anyone on my blogroll (See: “Cool People”) that hasn’t done it yet.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Let’s see… I was fifteen, so I was in tenth grade. At this exact moment, I was probably in my Child Development class making paper weapons. (Yeah, I was high.)

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Crying at Sunshine’s Preschool Graduation (Funny that Life As I Know It posted about it today!)

Five snacks you enjoy:
1) Baked! Chips…especially Doritos and Scoops
2) Act II 94% Fat Free Butter 100 Calorie Mini-bags
3) Breakfast bars (esp. South Beach Choco Protein and Special K)
4) Applesauce Oatmeal Muffins (They are so yummy and healthy!!)
5) Chocolate. Lots and Lots of Sweet (or dark!) Chocolate.

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:
That’s like saying “Five things you’ve seen in your life,” How do I choose five?
1) Most Incubus songs
2) Almost all Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks songs
3) Same with Madonna
4) And Korn
5) Two ICP songs (hahahah! Really!! NOOOO, I’m not a “juggalette”!)

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1) Start a nonprofit – probably a safehouse for abused families
2) Drive a WAY better car
3) Go to a party with Paris Hilton, Linsay Lohan and Nicole Richie so I could personally kick all of their asses and tell them off.
4) Go to the spa every day
5) Fly my family and friends to a remote tropical location for my dream wedding
Damn, that one was easy!

Five bad habits:
1) Swearing (glad I’m not alone in this!)
2) Clicking the Blue “E” (aka my Internet Addiction)
3) Not calling people – or answering the phone (I HATE the phone)
4) Engaging someone in a conversation that was already in progress in my head (does that make sense?)
5) Crying – is that a habit? I do it a lot.

Five things you like doing:
1) Yoga
2) Meditation
3) Traveling
4) Hiking
5) Getting better at golf
Funny how I do NONE of them, eh?

Five things you would never wear again:
1) stretch pants
2) the t-shirt I bought at Ozzfest a few years back
3) All the backless tank tops I own (I miss you Body!!)
4) My prom dress that’s STILL hanging in the closet
5) My incredibly sexy black strappy heels (both pair) – only because after pregnancy, my feet no longer fit. I should offer them up (Small size 8!). Or just keep them to look at. Yeah. Cuz they’re so pretty.

Five favorite toys:
1) my iPod (It’s my BEST FRIEND, it makes EVERY list!)
2) My digicam
3) My computer
4) MediaPlayer on days like today when I forget #1
5) NetFlix (does that count!?)

In *other* news:
As far as Scari’s visitation last night, I left work EARLY to make sure I was there when she picked them up. I got home and The Man said she called and said she had to work (WORK!? What about your Crazy Benefits!?) and could she take them tomorrow (No, because Wednesday is the only day NB doesn’t have homework). So she actually said “Let me call my work and see if I can start tomorrow.” START? That job sounds like it’s going to last!! Anyway, she got every Wednesday off showed up about six. Word on the street (or from the kids, whatever) is that her new job is COLD CALLING to sell MAGAZINES. WTH were we thinking when we said she wasn’t stable enough to raise kids?

It makes me think about Orlando Jones on Office Space and it makes me LAUGH!
“Good evening Sir, my name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions.”

AND…she’s still telling them that they’re coming to stay with her for the summer, which, NO. Just, No. No problems, though, we didn’t even talk to her.

Also, this is my 100th post. I meant for this to be my “100 Things About Me” post, but that just ain’t gonna happen. So, yay for me for making it this long!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Name That...Kid

Judy from Parents’ GoodyBlog has tagged me with this meme:

Give the meaning of your kids’ names, and write about what or how or why you gave the name to your kids. Tag five people to play along and leave a comment at their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

This is a little tricky for me as my kids go by pseudonyms here, but I’ll make it work! Heck, it might even be more fun this way as I didn’t pick their birth names!.

Ninja Boy was given this name because since birth he has been obsessed with Ninjas. We coaxed him into going to Kindergarten and First Grade by telling him that ninjas have to graduate before they can really be a ninja. I suppose I don’t have long before I’ll have to change his name to Ninja Man. Ooooon second thought, No. He’ll always be Ninja Boy. His birth name is actually The Man’s bff, Cowboy's, name and TM’s name. When Cowboy has a son (which, may be never) he is supposed to switch the names around. So his child will be The Man Cowboy. Or, would it be Boy Ninja?? You get what I mean, right?

Sunshine’s pseudonym came to me immediately. Since she was a baby, she has been the sunshine in my life. Plus, her appearance had a lot to do with it - She has the most beautiful “light up the room” smile. And she is a natural blonde with a natural tan. She’s also a total summer girl. I have a feeling this one will be leaving me for the West coast when she gets old enough. If she could, she would live in flip-flops and skirts or shorts.

My sweet Isabella – we had a really hard time picking names for this one. I really wanted to name her Hazel after my great-grandma, but The Man said “No way.” He actually – seriously – wanted the name Holly. I wish I could tell you all what his last name is because the combination is just ridiculous. Like, INSANELY ridiculous. So anyway, we were at a hotel visiting with my grandparents and they asked me what we had come up with for names. Out of *nowhere* The Man says, “What about Isabella Grace?” and I was set on it. I have no idea how he came up with it, but it was seriously the most beautiful name I’d ever heard.

I have to tag five people! A lot of you go by pseudonyms yourselves, so this could be hard.

So instead (because I break all the rules), just tell me in the comments how you came up with them. Or! If you have a lot to say, feel free to consider this a tag. :)

Friday, May 18, 2007

My Wonderfulness

I’ve been tagged with a new meme – and I complied within a couple days.

I’m awesome.

The instructions are to write ten things that make your life wonderful and tag five people. But I know a lot of the people I could tag have been really busy, so I’m just going to offer it to anyone who would like to do it. Or you can just let it die. The poor thing.

1. My family – of course. I love that we are all so close.
2. My iPod – I could never work here without it. It’s also convenient that I have, like, six hours worth of kid shows on it. And now that I have the audio adaptor, I’m like a fricken Master DJ.
3. The internet – I feel completely lost when I can’t just hop on the computer to look something up. You can buy anything and have it shipped directly to your house. You can instantly connect with anyone in the world. You have the world at your fingertips. That’s probably why the current ‘younger’ generation is so freaking spoiled.
4. Time off work.
5. Blogging – Umm...duh?
6. Owning my home – there’s just something great about not having to answer to anyone. And painting my walls however I’d like.
7. Cell phones – There was a time in my life when I got rid of mine and refused to get another. I would drive three hours to Wisconsin, at night, after ‘a few’ and take $.50 with me in case I needed to walk to a payphone. Now? I freak out if I go to the grocery store without it.
8. Music – It’s always there for me, whatever mood I am in.
9. Mirrors – what would we do without them? Depend on our MEN to tell us how we look??
10. TV – Not that I watch a lot of it, but I look forward to Mondays and Thursdays all week. I need comic relief to get me through. And Heroes is like the crack of all TV shows. Last night was the last of the Must See Season Finales. The Office worked its Evil Comedic Genius magic. I am going to spend the rest of my summer wondering what the hell is going to happen. Scrubs actually pissed me off. If JD and Elliot do that, I’m going to be REALLY mad! Really, really mad! I liked the new characters and the way things were going.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Ten Little Factoids

Me: “Can you think of a couple interesting things about me?”

The Man: “What do you mean?”

“Well, like, Cherann got her spleen taken out and Brillig can speak four languages.”


“Yeah, that’s why I haven’t done the meme yet.”

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~*

I was tagged by Cherann and Brillig to be interesting. Isn’t it funny how when somebody wants you to be something that’s the absolute last thing you can be??

Case in point: I was “invited” to be part of the “company fun week” planning committee. I tried to ignore it (hello! busy here!) , but got a call telling me that Big Shot Lady was waiting for me to start. I grabbed my notebook and shuffled off to the [whatever stupid motivational poster it’s named after] meeting room. As soon as I sat down, one of the women said, “Amy has GREAT ideas!”

“Oh, well! Let’s hear them!!”

“Wait…..What? Ideas on what? Who the hell are you?”

Hahaha…work, is, like, OMG! SO. Much. Fun!

The Rules (I made my own up cuz that‘s how I roll):

I will write 10 things (that randomly come to my tired mind) about myself.
I won’t tag anyone (but if you‘d like to play, get the real rules from Brill or Cherann).

1. My mom was once a collector of strange vehicles. At one time, we had an old city bus that covered the length of the back of our house. My favorite was the Excalibur Limo.

2. Last year I donated a 13 inch pony tail to Locks of Love. Then I heard bad things about them, so when I do it next year, I’m donating to Wigs for Kids.

3. Growing up, I would devour multiple books in a night. Now I can’t even finish magazine articles. I have no explanation.

4. I’m very controlling. And possessive. Somehow this doesn’t bother The Man.

5. I love shopping at thrift stores. Particularly when I was smaller and found awesome old t-shirts in the boys section. I hate dressing like everyone else.

6. I love sunflower seeds in the shell and often take them over lunch. Before “calories” existed in my life, I’d eat them for days on end.

7. I grew up on the river. Not like a beaver, but I lived in a city where three rivers met and my grandparents (who are HERE right now! Yay!) had boats docked on the river. It isn’t summer for me until I’ve been on the houseboat.

8. My company is located on a lake. My mom lives on a private lake. I live near two large lakes and pass at least ten on the way home. (It’s Minnesota, people!)

9. Despite #7 and #8, I will only swim in a pool.

10. I have the same birthday as Kristina, my SIL (It’s Sunday, yo!). My step-dad’s is the same as my sister’s. His sister’s is the same as my moms…there are more, but isn’t it creepy already?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Meme-Tastic Fun

I am just a blogging FOOL today!

Here’s a MeMe I was tagged with by Cherann.

Three things that scare me
1) Bugs in my house
2) My temper
3) Losing someone I love

Three people who make me laugh
1) The Man
2) My SIL, Kristina
3) All my bloggy friends (I refuse to pick one…or three)

Three things I love
1) My fam, of course
2) Desserts
3) Eating at restaurants

Three things I hate
1) Owing (anything)
2) Cooked mushrooms
3) Slithery, slimy, or otherwise creepy creatures

Three things I don’t understand
1) Signals – TV, Radio, Cell phone…it’s too amazing for me to try to understand
2) Why so many people become famous for being gross/stupid/whorish/etc
3) Why it’s so hard for everyone to accept everyone else as they are (me included)

Three things on my desk
1) Lots and lots of work to do!!
2) A candy jar full of tea bags
3) My ipod

Three things I want to do before I die
1) Travel - anywhere!
2) Write a memoir (If I go before, someone should just edit my blog into a book, okay? You’ll be missing a lot, but it will be done anyway.)
3) Learn how to forgive

Three things I can do
1) Twist my tongue upside down
2) Know when I’m being lied to
3) Turn to ice (emotionally - when necessary)

Three things I can’t do
1) Feel bad for people who treat others badly.
2) Get rid of my cat even though I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to her now
3) Hula-hoop

Three things I think you should listen to
1) Your mother (a lot of the time!)
2) Drive 105 (my fave radio station)
3) Hip Tranquil Chick

Three things you should never listen to
1) Put-downs
2) Someone you don’t trust
3) Diet pill commercials

Three things I’d like to learn (but won’t)
1) How to fix a car
2) Chinese
3) Tai Chi (that one’s a maybe)

Three shows I watched as a kid
1) Jem (Truly, truly, truly outrageous!)
2) Fraggle Rock
3) The Smurfs

I’ve already read Brillig’s so I’m going to have to tag Sugar Kane and Chesca. Also, Kristina...but I'll be the only one here who can read yours!

Friday, March 30, 2007

Don’t Hate The Playa…Hate The Game!

Or, DON’T hate the game, because it’s kinda fun!!

The Rules (Directly copied from Sugar Kane cuz I’m lazy like that.): Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me.” I respond by asking you five personal questions (I will leave these questions for you in my comments) so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate! You WILL update your journal/bloggy thing/whatever with the answers to the questions (please don't leave your answers in my comments unless you don't have a blog). You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

So, these are my questions from Ms. Sugar Kane…(Btw, she’s far more creative than I, so don’t be expecting “good” ones like this from me! Cuz I’m lazy like that, remember??)

1. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Being a Heroes fan, it’s kind of hard to choose because I see the downside to a lot of “super powers.” I think it would be reading minds, though. I know Matt Parker is kind of a loser and doesn’t use his powers the best (how about some discretion, man? And please work on the faces you make while you’re using your power - if you survive). Or super strength because that would be pretty cool too…or can I just pick Peter, because he can do anything!? I think we’ve established that I’m very indecisive.

2. How did you become involved in the various charities you support and the green movement?
Guilt and loneliness. Not what you’d expect, huh? After what happened with Isabella, I was pretty sure I was paying my dues for some of the rotten things I’d done in my life. The life I’d been planning for almost a year was suddenly gone and I felt very empty. I talked about getting into Walk America before. That just made me realize that I really did have the ways and means of helping other people. I’ve always wanted to help the less fortunate, but before that considered myself in their group. It’s an odd thing - when you lose what’s most important to you - after a while, (if you’re lucky) you realize all the blessings you have in life and become very grateful for them.

3. Which would you choose, fame or immortality?
I’m not so sure I’d want either. I wouldn’t want to be immortal because I’d have to watch everyone I love die. (Geez, this is getting really sad!). I guess I’d pick fame, because that comes with money (usually - I don‘t want to be famous for being a psycho or anything!). I REALLY dislike the paparazzi, though.

4. What has been your biggest challenge in raising children that are 'not yours'.
Connecting with Ninja Boy. Sunshine was still a baby when I met The Man, so she didn’t see anything really weird about having three parents (until she went to daycare anyway). But NB was five. His mom was a SAHM (only because she couldn’t keep a job, but this isn’t about her - though I would LOVE to pin all my problems on her). Anyway, he was so used to having her around and then after a few really rough months and some traumatic experiences, he was living with his dad and, as his mom taught him, “The Amy my dad is sleeping with” (His aunt has the same name and I was pretty much homeless from 17-20). So, he’s had a really tough time connecting with me because for so long he thought of me as trying to replace his mom. I’ve had a really tough time connecting with him because I don’t understand him and his emotions. It creates fights daily, but I still love them both more than I ever could have imagined.

5. What is your dream job?
Don’t go into shock now…but I’d start a non-profit. I’m not exactly sure WHAT it would be for, but I’ve always wanted to win the Powerball so I could. My long-time dream was a secure neighborhood for abused families. But now I’m into the whole “save babies” thing…so…I’ll let you know for sure after that windfall.