Monday, September 3, 2007

Pirate Tattoo

Because my audience was TOTALLY unappreciative of my willing self-mockery:

Scene: We pull up to a stoplight. It’s hot. It’s sunny, my window is down. I have my shades on and my Pirate tattoo blazin’ on my bicep. To my right is a young fellow on a motorcycle with his “Lower Back” tattoo peeking out.

I catch his eye, flex my arm and say just before we pull away, “I have a tattoo, too.”

Labor Day Dinner Conversation

[Paraphrased because I remember less than your Great Aunt Betty]

The Man: “I think these ‘steaks’ are ground beef.”

Me: “Like hamburgers?”

TM: “Yeah!”

Me to Kristina: “Was your steak like hamburger?”

Kristina: “Yeah, kind of. It was really crumbly, but had, like, fat wrapped around it.”

Me: “That was supposed to be bacon.”

What can I say, they love good deals in that house!